December 6, 2006 - General Memo
Tracking Santa
Package Delivered? Update?
I’ll preface this comment with a warning - it’s riddled with folly - that, and I make shameless plugs for packages. Consider yourself warned.
There is no reason that I should be as enamored with tracking systems as I am, but boy do I find it fun to keep tabs on packages. That and I can watch my Christmas presents slowly wind their way across the earth.
Speaking of such thing, my address is over there on the left. A scorned Chinese teacher can be a terrible force to reckon with…
Without further ado I present:
Tilly the Wonderous World Traveling Baoguo1
United States
12/04, 6:06 P.M., Billing Information Received
Let’s get this trackin’ party started…
New York, NY
12/04, 8:00 P.M., Origin Scan
12/04, 9:42 P.M., Departure Scan
Tilly merrily jingles through the Holland Tunnel. NJ ho!
Newark, NJ
12/04, 10:16 P.M., Arrival Scan
12/04, 11:01 P.M., Departure Scan
Careful in the armpit, we wouldn’t want a premature delivery to Hackensack or Orange or somewhere out there.
Louisville,KY
12/05, 1:21 A.M., Arrival Scan
12/05, 4:06 A.M., Departure Scan
12/05, 4:48 A.M., Departure Scan
Brave Tilly manages to rip through the space & time continuum. She has performed the unimaginable. Leaving Loisville twice, presumably to meet up with her slower self somewhere midair between here and who knows where. Bring a slugger with you - baseball could use a pick-me-up here in Guyuan.
Anchorage, AK
12/05, 6:48 A.M., Arrival Scan
12/05, 10:14 A.M., Departure Scan
Doing a rough guesstimate, I’d say our adventurer has gone about a third of the way in just over 24 hours. Too bad this will be the quick third.
Chek Lap Kok, HK
12/06, 2:20 P.M., Arrival Scan
12/06, 2:21 P.M., The Package Was Subject To An X-Ray Inspection Prior To Delivery; A Delay May Result
12/06, 2:21 P.M., Arrival Scan
She’s2 made it to Asia! Hope the luggage hold thawed by the time it got to Hong Kong.
Chek Lap Kok, HK
12/07, 6:44 A.M., The Package Was Subject To An X-Ray Inspection Prior To Delivery; A Delay May Result. Delivery Rescheduled
Poor Tilly! A second X-Ray! Somebody must have snuck some contraband on board… That or UPS is lying and trying to scheme their way out of delivery.
Xian, China
12/09, 11:09 A.M., Import Scan
Tilly’s making headway. I’m just hoping she doesn’t decide to take a detour and visit the Terracotta Warriors. They’re overrated Tilly, overrated!!
Xian, China
12/09, 5:50 P.M., Delivery
Delivery?!?! What? No package here! I’m hoping that this is a joke.
Ha! UPS you’re so funny. You got me!
Umm. Where’s Tilly?
» Link lovin’
Threadless $10 Holiday Sale - So Threadless, the venerable old t-shirt purveyor is having another one of their $10 t-shirt sales. You can barely get a plain shirt for that now.
Pororoca - Things like this make me wish I was surf bum. A rich beach-bound surf bum.
The Jackass and the .50 cal - This well-girthed fellow gets a bit of a surprise from his little friend. The fact that it didn’t take his head is a check in the column of dumb luck. The fact that he tried this is a check in the survival of the fittest column.
The Flaming Lips Live - What do you get when you give every audience member a laser pointer? Surprisingly enough, no lawsuits. Or shootings.
Global Shopping Lists - Dining bills of eating in from around the world. Japan tops the list with the highest expenditure. The American family spends 44% of its budget on condiments, snacks, prepared & fast food and beverages. Beverages alone count for close to 15%.
So glad that the package is providing such entertainment for you. Hope that it's ultimate arrival is just as exciting...
don't open until 12/25 or else...
or else you'll have to mess w santa!
That sounds like a threat from Santa!
Who knew he was so vindictive...